LIFE AS A HUMAN

We’re All Dead In The End, So Live Life While You Can

Guest Author — Mon, 15 Jul 2024 18:37:28 +0000

It’s been a while since I’ve submitted an article here, but life, ya know? I’m only human, like most of us are, and things can beat us down and get us to the verge of giving up. But one of the many things I think of during the hiatus is that life is short, and no guarantees are given.

Death and taxes…

Since the end of last year, it seemed to be endless. And thinking that beginning a new chapter in my life, things would be on an upswing… not so much. I did get married to my true soul mate, but then one thing after another.

A fire at my home, lost my job, 2 family members had strokes, various struggles, blah, blah, blah. It sucked, not going to lie. But still alive and kicking. My sanity and mental health took a hit, but I’m still hanging in there.

Life is so unpredictable, things happen, I have a full understanding of that, but what is it? Ego, stubbornness, ignorance. Us humans think life is supposed to go a certain way… it doesn’t. You can’t control everything. I’ve tried. Doesn’t work.

We can only control what we can control. The rest to chance. Deal with things as they come. Do we have any other choice? Our egos trick us. Maybe use our egos as a tool to get us to a point of control. What do I know. The struggle is real, the struggle continues.

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable…

“Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.”
~ Martin Luther King

Photo Credits

Guest Author Bio
Joel Rosario

Just a human trying to deal in this mad world. Allow me to share random thoughts and observations about my life and the commonality we all share as humans. Through music, quotes, etc.

Website: Resound and Rebel

Olympic Medaling: The Spirit of Competition

Guest Author — Thu, 23 May 2024 11:00:31 +0000

Every four years, the summertime becomes a playground for the world to unite in peace in the spirit of competition. The summer Olympics are where stories get passed on in the book of champions from generation to generation. People get to be extraordinary and showcase their gifts for the world to appreciate on the highest of stages. The Olympic games are a springboard for us to get outside and dive into the pool of raw, untouched potential locked away inside us.

Many storylines transpire during the Olympiad games that promote togetherness through various physical activities. History is made with fun and camaraderie for about two months, spanning time zones. While the sun stays up longer in the sky, we stay up longer to watch greatness. While the elite of the elite are representing their country, people worldwide should become eager to go after their medals. Medals in our conditions become a universal sport of greatness and imagination towards personal goals.

Ten thousand hours is the amount of time to master a skill, but sometimes, we only have one moment to put on a beautiful display of an art form through competitive expression. The untapped limits of human potential are where flags stand tall in the name of the best man or woman being victorious. As flags wave high in the air and with each wave of stars, stripes, and symbols, we see the humanity in people we never get to see from our couch. Many colors fill the stadium as decorations of past, present, and future legends who walked the earth.

From the first Olympic games in Greece to currently in Paris and beyond, the hunger for excellence is a cry that humanity shouts to the universe to create an endless loop of positive proactive contests. I can only imagine that track star, swimmer, wrestler, or ball player sitting in the locker room, trying to balance the feelings of excitement and nervousness. To represent one’s own country is to proudly tie the hero’s cape of a nation’s history. The cheers in the stadium create a frequency that manifests honor and glory to fight for something bigger than us.

Whether fifty, one hundred, or five hundred years from now, the fire must always stay lit with the fuel of love for expressing ourselves through sport. Stories of legends should inspire us to push ourselves and others along the way in an intimate, go-getter fashion. When the fire is lit during the ceremony, it’s a beacon of hope for us to find the gems in cultural differences and appreciate them. The Summer Olympics is about having fun and pushing the limits in life with others who want to do the same.

Photo Credit

Image by dan onaca from Pixabay

Guest Author Bio
Michael Colon
My name is Michael Colon born and raised in New York City. I currently reside in New York and excited to begin my writing journey. I love creative writing, and my mission is to use my craft to impact the lives of others. My writing style can best be described as introspective, reflective, direct, informative, and symbolic. I use life’s many perceptual lenses to draw inspiration for my next piece.

Blog / Website: Michael Colon

Follow Michael On: Instagram

He’s Just Paul

Martha Farley — Thu, 25 Apr 2024 11:00:43 +0000

He ran around the house with his fist in his mouth, screaming and yelling. I was just a young child, watching in horror as I witnessed my brother Paul become unleashed like a wild animal. The so-called ‘fit’ lasted a long time and I remember my mother yelling at me to go to my room. There I must’ve sat, wondering what was happening to my brother. I could hear him screaming as though in pain; loud, agonizing screams, like those that would come from some sort of monster. I remember asking my mother, once Paul was calm, “Why did he do that?” My mother replied, “Because he’s sick.” That was all I was told, that my brother was ‘sick’. I imagine I may have been four or five at the time. I don’t remember everything that happened that day, but I do recall the above conversation with my mother and feeling somewhat baffled about my brother’s so-called illness. There were other tantrums that I was witness to but nothing like that one. It stands out in my head as a very traumatic event in my life.

Had that happened today, I’m sure I would’ve been told exactly what was wrong with my brother and perhaps even given some tips from some expert as to how to respond in a situation like that. And I most likely would’ve had some decompression time with either my mom or my dad. But back in the days of ignorance, illnesses like Paul’s were never spoken about. They were a taboo subject. My parents probably presumed it wasn’t my problem and did their best to handle a very difficult and mentally challenged son, all the while trying to keep some normalcy in the household. That, as it turned out, was easier said than done.

As I recall, I didn’t really get what was going on with Paul. It never dawned on me that there was anything really wrong with him, he was just my older brother. I never really thought about how the world saw him. As a teenager, it was difficult to live with Paul. There was always a trauma, it seemed, when it came to him. And he would often say embarrassing things like “Hey Mom, Martha’s growing boobs.” It made me very uncomfortable. I used to wonder what it would be like to have a normal older brother, not one who blurted out stupid things in front of everyone. ‘Retarded’ was a word I became all too familiar with growing up. The neighborhood kids made fun of my brother with comments like “Hey, where’s the retard” and to me they’d say “Yeah, you’re a retard just like your brother.” Kids are cruel, no question about that. Paul suffered years of ridicule from so many people. We all tried so hard to protect him. But I often wondered why, why did my brother have to be ‘retarded’? Why couldn’t he be normal like everyone else’s brother?

Eventually, as I grew up, I became more aware that Paul was different. Living with an obsessive-compulsive person who was intellectually handicapped was not an easy thing, like the times I’d have friends over. It was embarrassing. But once my friends got used to Paul it became easier for them to visit. I can imagine it must have been a bit scary for them, he could be downright nasty if he wanted to be.

My mother was very involved in several projects in our community in order to help Paul and others like him. Both my parents worked diligently to attain services for their son. My mother was instrumental in organizing the first special education class in a nearby school. I vividly remember going with her and Paul in our little Volkswagen to pick up Paul’s classmates and deliver them to the school, as the school board was not offering a bus service. My mom and I did that for an entire year. I used to ride on the hand brake, as there were at least four other kids, aside from my brother, in the back and front seat. So my brother has enjoyed many privileges and has had a lot of opportunity that other children born like him back in the day may not have had.

I don’t know why Paul is who he is. I’m somewhat positive some of his traits were inherited and others certainly are due to his handicap. He pursued his hobbies, his airplane models, his art work. He enjoyed music and loved to dance. He made friends and walked everywhere and he knew just about everyone in our community. What he lacked in several areas intellectually and socially he sure made up for in spunk.

Paul was never really diagnosed with any syndrome in particular over the years. Now, it’s presumed he’s autistic, as he has several traits of an autistic person. He loves organization; things have to be in just the right spot. He washes everything twice. He has certain clothes he wears for certain events. He repeats everything, and would say things like, “Life is like hell on earth, eh Marth? Like hell on earth.” And then he’d laugh. I’m not sure what he’d be laughing at but I guess he thought hell was funny. He’s an absolutely wonderful artist. As a young man he used to draw money. I’m not lying, you couldn’t tell the difference if you looked quickly at his drawing of a twenty dollar bill and a real bill, he was that good, that detailed in his work. He doesn’t bother anyone, he just enjoys the simple things in life and manages to do what he likes to do without a problem.

Paul is older now. He’s sixty years old and lives on his own. He’s mentally challenged, or intellectually handicapped, and he’s a real character. A straight shooter is what you’d probably call him if he were ‘normal’. But I don’t make that distinction anymore. He is who he is and you gotta love him for being that – for just being Paul.

Photo Credits
Photos by Martha Farley – all rights reserved

Until Then I Will Dream About Better Days

Guest Author — Thu, 22 Feb 2024 12:00:13 +0000

I know it’s been a few weeks without writing… but I’ve just been trying to make heads or tails of this thing we call life. Not going to lie, I feel like I stumbled out of the old year, and into the new. When it rains, it pours.

First, the fire. Nothing major, but still quite the inconvenience. Then of course vital equipment at my home went south. Then, my job was taken away. What else could go wrong… oh wait.

I’m not one to look for sympathy, and I’m not throwing a pity party, but life’s been throwing me a few challenges. Happens to everyone… it’s happening to me. But what to do?

It’s not easy, especially having mixed anxiety and depression disorder, but I have a loving supportive family that reminds me how things will get better, and these things are temporary.

Need to hold on and not give up. All of us do. Hard? Yes. But hold on. Before this, I’ve been through abuse, death, and here I am, alive and kicking. I have my ups and downs, but that’s life.

In the meantime, I’ll look forward to better days.

“Every day that we wake up is a good day. Every breath that we take is filled with hope for a better day. Every word that we speak is a chance to change what is bad into something good.”
~ Walter Mosley

Current listen: Staind – Better Days

“Someday I will wake up and everything has changed
Until then I will dream of better days
Still living in the sorrow and learning from the pain
Until then I will dream of better days”

Photo Credits

Guest Author Bio
Joel Rosario

Just a human trying to deal in this mad world. Allow me to share random thoughts and observations about my life and the commonality we all share as humans. Through music, quotes, etc.

Website: Resound and Rebel

Except A Voice Was In My Head.

Guest Author — Sat, 27 Jan 2024 17:13:16 +0000

So, made it through another week… barely. It happens. Two panic attacks and stress through the roof, but here we are. Circumstances may not always be perfect, but I’m alive and kicking, counting my blessings.

You know, with all this talk and all these thoughts that go through this head of mine, you think I would have my stuff together. So much time has passed. The complacency, laziness, too much comfort.

There’s this voice in my head that always seems to talk to me. You know the one… The one you talk to, try to reason with, bounce ideas off of. It always seems to guide, reason, and give me answers. Then why not listen? Maybe not only do I have mixed anxiety and depression disorder, I’m just plain crazy. Nah…

“Our bodies have five senses: touch, smell, taste, sight, hearing. But not to be overlooked are the senses of our souls: intuition, peace, foresight, trust, empathy. The differences between people lie in their use of these senses; most people don’t know anything about the inner senses while a few people rely on them just as they rely on their physical senses, and in fact probably even more.” ~ C. JoyBell C.

Sure, we are all humans, but also animals. Instincts, intuition, all kinds of not only physical attributes, but also mental and spiritual. I don’t think many think about that. I should, we should use that part of us more.

I know on the outside I have those who care, love, support, and want to see me succeed and be happy. Trust me, I appreciate it, but SELF… got to listen to self, lift mySELF up, and get mySELF over the goal line. Gotta crawl before you walk, walk before you run.

Current listen: Soundgarden – The day I tried to live”

“Words you say
Never seem to live up to the ones inside your head
The lives we make
Never seem to ever get us anywhere but dead”

Photo Credits

Guest Author Bio
Joel Rosario

Just a human trying to deal in this mad world. Allow me to share random thoughts and observations about my life and the commonality we all share as humans. Through music, quotes, etc.

Website: Resound and Rebel

Getting To The Root Of What The Problem Is

Guest Author — Thu, 18 Jan 2024 12:00:50 +0000

I’ve been feeling a little off lately. Why? Don’t really know. What I do know is I really need to stop tap dancing and avoiding the issues that cause my mental anguish. Be proactive. The mind is willing, but the flesh?

I know where work needs to be done. I know what needs work. But what is it with some of us? What is it with me? I see it, I realize what’s right in front of me. The issues that haunt me, that becomes the walls that block progression.

Life’s good, but not great. Life is not perfect but can be made to be pretty close. Up to me, up to us. Stopping, taking a good look at one’s own life, and what can be made better is one of the first steps.

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step” ~ Martin Luther King

First step… I always feel like I stumble out of the gate. I realize that I’m a victim of abuse and lived being pretty much manipulated, which led to a lot of my current issues, so just sort it out and get started. Sure, you first.

Regardless, the point is to just do it. Get to the root. And if the roots run deep, or are a tangled mess, one root at a time. A mighty bonsai needs care and pruning before it takes shape and shows its real beauty.

Current listen – “Alive and Kicking” – Nonpoint

“I’m stronger now, even after everything that you did
Still alive and kicking
I’m better now, I’m awake
Now I can see, everything in front of me”

Photo Credits

Guest Author Bio
Joel Rosario

Just a human trying to deal in this mad world. Allow me to share random thoughts and observations about my life and the commonality we all share as humans. Through music, quotes, etc.

Website: Resound and Rebel

From The Place I Used To Be, Struggling Usually…

Guest Author — Thu, 04 Jan 2024 12:00:27 +0000

So here we are. We have made it another year. I have never been a resolutions type of guy… most of the time no one sticks to them anyway. Some may set a goal and achieve it, and good for them. But in my case, it’s usually the spirits willing, but the flesh is weak. A perpetual coming up short, but there’s only one to blame… me.

So many dreams and wants in life. Not to sound conceited, vain, or narcissistic, but I feel like I have been given gifts, just to squander them or take them for granted. I know the problem, and I know the solution. Just can’t figure out what stops me. Mainly me, that’s what stops me.

No resolutions, reflections. No resolutions, solutions. That’s the name of the game. Sure, I’ve gone through trauma and been led astray, but need to even make that a goal. Fix what’s broken, and be better in ALL aspects. Everyone should do this, but I can only speak for myself. Will this year be different? Plan on it, but even if I fall flat, just have to keep going.

They say goals are dreams with deadlines. But is there a deadline? I really think so. But others have told me that isn’t the case. In reality it is something that can be used as an excuse. Something to use to self sabotage. It’s never too late to be better, to at least try your dreams. Will you fail? Maybe. But so what?

So no new year, new me. It’s the same old me, the same old you. Goals, dreams, and the want to just be a better all around human being is what we should strive for, no matter the day, month, or year. So here’s to all the humans, imperfect as we are. May we all have a good and prosperous one.

“Believe in yourself, and the rest will fall into place. Have faith in your own abilities, work hard, and there is nothing you cannot accomplish.” ~ Brad Henry

Current Listen – Kendrick Lamar “Now or Never”

Look at the newer me, fate pursuing me
I can feel the energy in the air
It feel like I’m supposed to here

Photo Credits

Wish or Work – US Library of Congress – Public Domain

Guest Author Bio
Joel Rosario

Just a human trying to deal in this mad world. Allow me to share random thoughts and observations about my life and the commonality we all share as humans. Through music, quotes, etc.

Website: Resound and Rebel

I Just Want To Be Okay…

Guest Author — Sat, 16 Dec 2023 12:00:52 +0000

Happiness. A life that is virtually stress free. That’s all I want. That’s pretty much all we want isn’t it? But as we all know, life doesn’t work that way. But, as hard as it is to admit, we have the tools we need to deal with this thing called life. Happiness or anything of the sort does take some effort on our part.

Even though it has been a long time coming, realizations I have brought to light in recent times have me thinking more and more, than I usually do, about the solutions. True, being a victim of abuse, and other things in my life are a part of me or who I’ve become, but I am the master, the artist of me, so I have the power to mold and change things.

We all have power, no matter what we’ve been through. Some have had it worse than others, and true, it can be difficult. But we need to get up, find help if need be, and start the change. We have to find ourselves and live. Not be an empty shell, which I would feel about myself at times. Lost, no identity, but working on it.

We all want the same things, to be happy, comfortable. Honestly the outside world can only do so much. The inside must be in a good place too. Sometimes things will stress us out, will make us unhappy. That’s just the way it is.

“Trust me, you can’t change anything without causing some degree of disruption. It’s impossible, that is exactly what change is. Some people are uncomfortable with the disruption that change causes, but the disruption is necessary if anything is going to change.” ~ Afeni Shakur

It’s so strange, but after all this time, I still feel like I am at the beginning. Could be my procrastination, could be me letting life distract me from the real issues. But are we really living if we allow the outside, or anything else block our progress? Sure, we all want to be okay, but we should be okay as a WHOLE. Not just on the outer shell.

So it’s okay to want things to be okay, there’s nothing wrong… but, okay needs to be from the inside out.

“Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
~ John Lennon

Current listen: Limp Bizkit – Loser

I just want to be okay
There ain’t nothing wrong with that (Goodbye)
I’m losing my life away
Losing myself
And I want it back

Photo Credits

Guest Author Bio
Joel Rosario

Just a human trying to deal in this mad world. Allow me to share random thoughts and observations about my life and the commonality we all share as humans. Through music, quotes, etc.

Website: Resound and Rebel

I Can Feel Their Eyes Are Watching

Guest Author — Fri, 01 Dec 2023 12:00:04 +0000

It’s amazing sometimes when I sit and think about my life and how unorthodox it was. Being paraded around and no one saw the red flags or thought to question it. A sensitive subject I suppose. I know some saw it, people who mattered, but I was being brainwashed, programmed, blinded.

Where was everyone? I take some of the blame even though some say I was a kid and was being used and manipulated. I put walls up and Stockholm set in. What did they know? I knew what I was doing. No, no I didn’t.

Things could have been a lot worse… or could it? Depends how you look at it. The sacrifice was family ties, not being a good son or brother. But I was a victim of abuse, and so were the others. Obviously no regard for my life or family, or regard for her own children and family.

I remember going places, being introduced… an ignorant teenager that didn’t know any better. Feeling awkward half the time. I often wonder that people HAD to suspect something was up. A red flag, anything. All minded their own business. I can’t blame anyone.

The path was paved the way it was paved. Sure, you should stand up and make your voice heard, but it’s not that easy. You have to think about the collateral damage. It’s a two edged sword for sure. Perhaps if I realized what was going on, or stood up, I would be in a better mental state.

Doesn’t really matter now, does it? What’s done is done. Played the cards that were dealt, what else could I do? What could anyone do? I was lost, alone, even though I had the open arms to run into. The prodigal one.

“A man dies when he refuses to stand up for that which is right. A man dies when he refuses to stand up for justice. A man dies when he refuses to take a stand for that which is true”. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Current Listen: Nine Inch Nails – Everyday Is Exactly The Same

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes, I think I’m happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can’t remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end

Photo Credits

Guest Author Bio
Joel Rosario

Just a human trying to deal in this mad world. Allow me to share random thoughts and observations about my life and the commonality we all share as humans. Through music, quotes, etc.

Website: Resound and Rebel

My Christmas Without You

Martha Farley — Mon, 20 Nov 2023 12:00:30 +0000

You died April 1st. I’m thinking you either planned it that way so we could all have a chuckle or it was fate’s hand that dealt that date for you to pass on to the other side. It’s been six months and there’s not a day, an hour or a minute that I’m not thinking about you. Sometimes I feel like I’ve even convinced myself that you’re on a trip somewhere and will return within days. Like you’re some kind of spy or something; which you’re not, are you? I feel that you’re with me sometimes, a real presence. I’ve felt you hold my hand and gently kiss my cheek. Hence the idea that you’re still alive.

Your death has been the worst thing I’ve ever dealt with in my life. Not that I’ve had the most disturbing life on earth but I’ve had some ups and downs. But nothing compares to this, this emptiness inside me. For so many years we were one, one unit it seemed. And we worked well together, my ying to your yang. We fought, sure, like most couples. But our love and respect for one another was always paramount.

Our children miss you every day. I sometimes feel their pain when they’re with me. Sometimes it’s hard to know if that pain is for me or for the fact that you’ve passed on. They do worry about me, I know that. They do their best to lift me up and help me deal with such a huge loss, with you leaving this earth.

So, we’re coming up to Christmas, your favorite time of year. How you loved getting the best tree and hanging the lights on that tree as though you were a designer dressing your favorite model. You always took your time to make the most of those lights. And then you’d spend hours in the dark with them on, just relaxing and admiring your handiwork. That was such a precious moment. That and Christmas morning. How I loved our Christmases together, getting up before the children on Christmas day and sitting by the tree, having our coffee, anticipating our children’s glee as they discovered the pile of toys and gifts left by Santa. I loved the smell of you cooking up a feast in the kitchen – bacon, sausages, hash browns, eggs and toast and pots of coffee – while they played quietly with their new toys. Even as teenagers we would wake them up and gather around the tree to share in the joys. I wish I could go back and soak it all in again.

And then as adults, to have had our infant grandson with us was the icing on the cake. How that little boy took in all of the glory of Christmas morning. And as he grew it became more and more about tradition. Each Christmas would follow the other. To be honest, there wasn’t anything too special about them, not to someone maybe looking in. But to us, Christmas was the most wonderful and glorious day we shared together. You’ll no longer be stringing the lights or making the coffee or playing with your grandson. This year we’ll think of you, think of all the love you gave us, how you loved your family with all your heart and soul. This year you’ll be the angel on top of the tree.

Not long after you died I took it upon myself to plan a Christmas that wouldn’t be in our home. I knew for me it would be too hard, too many memories that would pop up again and again and I’d be brought to my knees with grief. So I rented two rooms at a hotel downtown so the children and I could feel like we were away somewhere. Anywhere but home, where those memories are so sharp and clear. We’ll walk around the city looking for Christmas, we’ll make new traditions and of course integrate our old ones too. But you’ll be gone, and it’ll be tough. I pray I’ll be able to get through it without feeling too sad or too angry or too alone.

I never imagined I’d be in this position, this place where I’m the maker of my own life, where I don’t rely on anyone to discuss what I’m going to do or be. I’m just here, still ever so slightly attached to you but also learning how to be on my own. So far it’s been difficult but I only hope you’ll guide me to new beginnings, like this special Christmas in the city. We’ll hope for some snow and lots of laughter. And you, the angel on the tree, will be in our hearts.

Your love will see us through.