There are many ways to rekindle the flame with your partner, such as boosting the intimacy levels or being more honest with each other. Every couple will be different in what they expect from their partner, so it’s about finding the right things that matter to both of you and finding the perfect solution to help repair your relationship.

We have carefully crafted this guide to help you rekindle your relationship. Continue reading for some inspiration on things that you can try to achieve a deeper relationship connection with your partner.

How to Rekindle the Flame in Your Relationship

Increase Physical Touch

Love languages describe ways that people receive and express love in a relationship. The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts and physical touch. The latter is seemingly the most popular among couples to enhance romance, as they enjoy being close to each other. If you don’t have much physical touch in your relationship, such as hugs, cuddles and kissing, it could be a reason why the flame has dwindled. Having a cuddle before you both go to sleep can boost endorphins and lead to a much healthier relationship, as a result.

Cultivate Curiosity

Curiosity is what fuels the early stages of a relationship, as we are desperate to learn more about our partner to see if they’re the perfect match for us. If you don’t still ask your partner questions about their life and show interest, you might need to seek ways that you can show it more often. Embrace curiosity by asking questions and actively listening to their answers. This goes past asking about their day, as it’s rather about getting their perspective on bigger aspects of life like aspirations, goals and dreams.

Share Secrets

Intimacy isn’t just about physical touch, as it can also be about forming a stronger mental connection. Feeling disconnected from your partner can make the flame dwindle dramatically, so you should make a conscious effort to feel more connected in your relationship. One way you can do this is by sharing secrets with your partner. These don’t necessarily need to be mind-blowing secrets but rather tiny secrets that you just might not have thought to tell about previously.

Live Together

Long-distance relationships can be hard, as you don’t get to spend much time with your partner which is why they rarely work out well. If you need to rekindle the flame in your long-distance relationship, you can make the big leap of moving in together. This is fairly simple if you both live in the UK, but there can be some difficulties if one of you is from outside of the country. If you’re married, you can obtain a spouse visa UK so that you can live with your spouse and rekindle the flame.

Be More Spontaneous

Spontaneity can enhance a relationship by instilling excitement, keeping things interesting, promoting a feeling of adventure, strengthening connection and allowing couples to try new things together. All of these can lead to deeper relationships and a more rewarding relationship overall. It can also show your partner that you are actively thinking about them, as you will be doing things more on a whim rather than only planning things for special occasions.

Improve Communication

Better communication can improve a relationship by allowing partners to openly express their needs, feelings and desires. This can help with fostering understanding, trust and intimacy, as well as assisting in the effective resolution of conflicts and strengthening the emotional bond between a couple. It serves as the foundation for a healthy and fulfilling relationship, so it’s important that it’s not overlooked. Some couples might consider couples therapy to help improve communication.

Develop Gratitude

Showing gratitude towards your partner for everything they do, no matter how big or small, will help to achieve a deeper connection in your relationship. Simple acknowledgments like saying “thank you” can be enough for your partner to see that you appreciate them. Gratitude is one of the most powerful emotions for thriving relationships, as it can significantly improve the satisfaction levels between partners.

Go on a Romantic Getaway

Sometimes all a couple needs is to get away from the repetition of working life and go on a romantic getaway with their partner to reinvigorate their relationship. It can be the perfect way to get a healthy work life balance and become more positive. Revisiting a place you have gone previously with your partner can be very effective, as you will both be reminded of the amazing times you have had together which can boost appreciation. You can also go to a new place and make new memories with your partner that will last a lifetime.

Photo Credit

Photo is from Pexels

Guest Author Bio
Cathy Fletcher

Cathy Fletcher is a retired physiotherapist based in Manchester, UK, with a rich 40-year career in the NHS. After navigating the challenges of divorce and retirement, Cathy discovered a new purpose: empowering individuals over 50 to live their best lives and uncover new passions. Her personal journey through these significant life changes has fuelled her commitment to sharing insights and experiences with others in similar stages.

For instance, paper is the traditional suggestion for a couple’s first anniversary. Its meaning is fitting, as just like the beginning of marriage, paper is fragile, yet will last a lifetime if properly cared for. Leather, on the other hand, is recommended for year three as a symbol of the shelter and security a couple has built between them. By the time they reach their first decade of marriage, the symbolism continues, and a couple has much to celebrate. The traditional gift is tin or aluminum, which speaks of the pliability or flexibility that a successful marriage requires.

However, this doesn’t mean gifts need to be limited to these suggestions. Thinking outside the box can be fun! For example, tickets to a concert could be the ‘paper’on your first anniversary, and a flight somewhere on a ‘tin’ plane could be the way you celebrate your tenth. Of course, if you love the idea of keeping to a traditional gesture, referring to a list of anniversary gift ideas by year can be extremely helpful.

In the meantime, if you’re thinking of throwing a modern spin on your next wedding anniversary celebration, here are a few ideas to get you started:

Just The Two of You

Fly Overseas
If this is a milestone anniversary, consider travelling overseas to a romantic city like Paris, or pack your swimsuits for a sunny getaway in Bali. Or, perhaps you postponed your honeymoon and take this opportunity to finally visit the vineyards of Italy or the Great Wall of China.

Visit Your Favorite City
Booking a weekend trip to your favorite city may be just what you need to relax and unwind while still being kind to your pocketbook. Take in an exhibition, stroll around a botanical garden or return to your favorite haunts. The idea is to maximize time together and minimize travel time.

Couples Spa
This could be the ideal getaway for those who have a demanding lifestyle that affords very little room for relaxation. Ask family members to look after the children or get a house sitter to care for pets in your home.

Want your family and friends to help you celebrate? These ideas are just some examples of how you can plan with a crowd in mind:

Celebrations With Friends and Family
 
Get Tickets to an Event      
Whether you share a favorite headliner or adore opera or sports, get tickets for an exciting event that you’ll all enjoy. Kick it up a notch and make it a black tie dress code!

Book a Private Room at a Restaurant
Go out for dinner and make it extra-special by booking a private room at your favorite restaurant or one where there’s a special set menu. This allows you to spend unrushed time together without the worry of having to give up your table for the next reservation.

Rent an Airbnb for the Weekend
Save yourself the trouble of trying to accommodate large numbers of people in your home and instead, invite everyone to a nearby Airbnb. Not only will there be room for everyone, but you can also choose the amenities you want, such as a games room, hot tub, surround-sound stereo system etc.

How you celebrate your wedding anniversary and the gifts you choose will ultimately be up to you. No matter what you decide – traditional or modern, a small celebration or a large one – I hope these ideas inspire you to plan your next anniversary celebration that’s as unique as your love!

Photo Credit

Photo courtesy of Flickr – some rights reserved

Guest Author Bio
Trenton J. Smith

Trenton is an aspiring writer who loves to research and write about a wide variety of topics. When he is not writing, he enjoys gardening and long walks with his dog Boomer.

It’s a beautiful time – a gesture of pure love and commitment. But why a ring?

WHERE IT ALL BEGAN

Symbolic use of rings can be dated all the way back to prehistoric times. Cavemen would wrap cords they had created from braided grass around their partner’s wrists, ankles, and waist in an effort to bring her spirit under his control. Not the most romantic act of love, but an origin nonetheless.

The tradition of the engagement ring was born thousands of years later when the ancient Egyptians added romance to the symbolic ring. For them, the ring represented eternal love, while the gap portrayed a gateway to the couple’s future together. Wedding bands of braided reeds would be exchanged between husband and wife upon their marriage and would be worn on the ring finger of the left hand. The choice of the finger, which is still the one these rings are worn on today, was due to the vein from this finger running to the heart, this was later called the Vena Amoris in 1686, meaning the ‘vein of love’.

Jumping ahead to the ancient Romans, Pliny the Elder – a Roman author, recalls the start of the tradition of engagement rings. His account suggests that brides were given two rings, one made out of gold, given at the wedding ceremony and worn at special events following, and one made out of iron for wear around the home. Unlike the romantic symbolism of the rings given today, these rings represented ownership, and the rings were the legal binding agreement of said property.

Over a century later, the next step of the evolution began when puzzle rings started appearing in what is now known as Turkey. These rings were given to sultans and sheikhs to present to their wives and would fall apart if removed, as such, reducing the risk of infidelity. It wasn’t until 860AD that the meaning of the ring started to change. Pope Nicolas I stated that it was a requirement for the groom to present his wife with a gold ring and this was a symbol of his wealth and ability to take care of her.

It was centuries later that the first diamond appeared prominently on an engagement ring. In 1477, Archduke Maximillian of Austria gave his betrothed, Mary of Burgundy, a gold engagement band with the letter ‘M’ spelt out in diamonds. This ring received recognition and created a trend among the wealthy to present their loved ones with bejewelled rings.

Inscribed rings became popular in the 1700’s, these were usually very sentimental and called Poesy Rings, derived from the French word ‘poésie’, meaning poem. People were also very romantic in the 1800’s, often attributed to the love Queen Victoria had for Prince Albert. Rings in Victorian times were remarkably ornate, with designs combining different gems and metals and crafted into flowers and other shapes. Named Dearest Rings, the gem-heavy pieces were popular right through to Edwardian times.

In 1867, diamonds become much more available worldwide as they were discovered in South Africa. Almost two decades later, the iconic Tiffany & Co introduced a new design using six prongs to elevate the diamond away from the band and make it the centrepiece of the ring, this is called the ‘Tiffany Setting’.

By the 1930’s, custom diamond engagement rings became the standard symbol of eternal love and represented this promise between two people.

A DIAMOND IS FOREVER

Following the First World War, demand for diamonds declined. Amidst the Great Depression, in 1938, international diamond corporation De Beers started a campaign to reignite interest in the precious gemstone. Ten years later, they released the slogan ‘A Diamond is Forever’ in what would turn out to be one of the most successful marketing campaigns to date. Diamonds were portrayed to be the only true measure of the love and romance of a man and were synonymous with his wealth and success. Young women, on the other hand, were convinced that courtship would inevitably lead to a diamond. The campaign also suggested that one months’ salary should be what a man spends on a ring for his bride to be. However, in the 80’s they repositioned this statement to two months, with taglines such as: ‘Isn’t two months’ salary a small price to pay for something that lasts forever?’.

According to recent reports, China, India, and the US will be the main driving force in the diamond industry over the next decade, with more than 80 percent of brides being proposed to with diamond engagement rings in America. China is currently evolving from generations where a simple band would be worn on the right hand of a bride-to-be and switched to the left hand upon marrying. However, over 30 percent of brides in China are now receiving diamond rings, a custom which was unheard of in the 90’s. Japan also changed their traditions to the diamond back in the 1970’s.

The diamond engagement ring is now a global culture, which could never be replaced. However, the future for this practice could see 3D printed rings and completely customised rings, a service which some jewellers already offer. One thing is for certain, no matter how it is designed, the diamond truly is forever.

Photo Credits

Photos courtesy of the author

Guest Author Bio
Kayleigh Stubbs

Kayleigh Stubbs is a writer with a mission to help couples in love live their classic love stories, creating informative and thought-provoking content on the perfect proposal to the all important wedding.

In my experience, all the personal relationships that started out with hot, passionate chemistry died a quick death. The fire brought us together but once it cooled a bit, we really weren’t a good match for each other. This has been true in romance and in friendship. I recall, for example, a several-week romance that began with a mutual interest in social justice and alternative medicine. Less than two weeks in, we were declaring ourselves ‘soul mates’ and spending most of our time together. Not long after this, the fault lines began to appear. I was fond of quiet and stillness; she liked to move and do things constantly. I was a recovering perfectionist and she was still living out those narratives. Both of us were born leaders but we couldn’t figure out how to share that role, neither in our relationship nor in the work we were doing together. All of these issues and more were there from the beginning but we hadn’t seen them, or simply overrode their presence.

A similar kind of energy can drive people to give in to wildly unreasonable hopes about their favorite sports team. More than once I have fallen sucker for the team that comes out of nowhere and seems to have everything going for it, only to crash and burn before the finish line. My home state of Minnesota has had its share of these. The 2003 Minnesota Vikings football team comes to mind. They started the season undefeated, 6-0. Suddenly, the streets were filled with purple jerseys and dreams of the Super Bowl. It was a wild time, but that brief sense of rapture would soon be replaced with bitterness. The Vikings went on to lose 5 of the next 6 games, splitting the last 4 and failing to make the playoffs. The relatively weak early schedule had concealed their marginal defense, which was thoroughly exposed once tougher opponents arrived.

When it comes to relationships, some psychologists argue that many passionate, fire-filled beginnings come from a matching of wounds from the past – that the coming together isn’t about love and longevity but more about co-habiting dysfunctions hoping to heal each other. Many spiritual teachings also caution against beliefs we have around desire, precisely because they are designed to get us to go out and pursue whatever it is that is desired, regardless of whether getting it is beneficial or not.

It’s also the case that a lot of us simply want to believe we are truly getting the great thing of our dreams – the lifelong romance, the friend that will stick with us through thick and thin, the championship team that exceeds everyone’s expectations. So many of us struggle with a mind of lack, which not only leads us to miss much of the greatness already in our lives but also drives us to chase phantoms that reflect our dreams back at us, ultimately empty.

Perhaps those of us who are fire junkies would be wise to stop chasing fires altogether, to become more attracted to that which appears on the surface to be ‘plain’ or ‘common’ but which, over time, opens up into something incredible. And if we still need some fire in our lives, let’s go for the slow-burning ones that might not even look like they’re burning at all in the beginning.

Even the best of teams can’t win it all every year. Even the best of relationships include challenges and difficulties to be faced and overcome. When you find love beyond all that comes and goes, everything is better and the need to grab at hopeless causes ceases.

Photo Credits

Fire by morgueFile

little boy in a playground,
I see him sitting by that
old Sycamore tree,

pulling sleeves down,
he believes in me,

little girl on a stage,
singin’,
“I got a nickel and a penny too,”

hundred dollars for a well carried tune,

he’s tellin’ the teacher he wants to go home,
his moma is dead he has no home,

she’s tellin’ the teacher she lives with a bad
man and moma is at work, doin’ all that she can,

so they are somewhere between day and dawn,

playin’ an adult game of singin’ and song,

she’s thinkin’ he’s the gift of beat, the motion
of rhyme, no longer askin’ for more time,

she sits at her desk, thinkin’ about
fences around him, her and all that hate,
still generatin’ from centuries of tired
broken ugly gates,

I am he and he is she,

but in the Mississippi they’d still kill them both,

he sits at a table
shared with no one noticing the slightest
hue of fields and broken dreams
just him and her, drinkin’
a nice bottle of wine,
and all the world is a long
paragraph and a beautiful line,

but they didn’t see what they saw,
they saw one another, beautiful
love in song and red,
but they call her a money bag,
and him a mooch, when he’s the rich man
and she wore no boots.

Photo Credit

Photo is Public Domain from Public Domain Images

“You know you look so cute,” it was him, “all keen and on a mission.” She smiled and ignored him. Tilted her head and wrote. He stared at her patiently, smiling at her excitement. She gleamed as rays from the candle reached her. Her eyes sparkled. He pulled out the pencil that held her hair in an untidy bun and poked her with it. “Cut it out”, she turned to face him, “and give it back”. Her hair went down her shoulders like a brown waterfall. It slowly untwisted, and settled, almost touching the dusty roof top where she sat. It swayed gently in the wind.

He eyed her for an eternity, without a word. The pencil was returned, hair re-tied, and writing continued.

She was occupied, in her tales. She always wrote about love, because love eluded her. It was the enchanted sword that killed fierce dragons. The magic that broke all wicked spells. The remedy for the sick and dying. Love was ‘hope’ after everything was lost. But there was a trend, an obvious declaration. Of something breaking, a dreaded loss. It was in everything her pencil produced, a promise disrespected, a token cliched. It was there, right in the core, a tragedy, an uproar. 

She went on for hours, barely pausing. It was from inside her, and all she had to do was to put it on paper. She attempted with all her strength to quote her mind absolutely. Throughout she didn’t know what she was writing or why, or if her sentences meant anything. She merely obeyed.

She was done. She read it. Her eyes moved saccadicly and her lips shaped silently. Tears collected in her large brown eyes, and she bit her lip to overcome the horror. It was grand. Too good to have come out of her, again. She had created a cursive masterpiece. She stood up and looked for him. Whirled around once. He had left. She tore the pages out of her journal and secured them under a brick. Collected her things and climbed down stairs. She let the midnight breeze envelope her once, until she went inside.

The stars began to fade away, and the sky took a shade of plum. Slight chirps sounded here and there, and some cock’s confession filled the pause. Pink and orange escaped from the horizon, and marked their territories. Light enveloped the roof top, growing in intensity by the minute. Rustling of paper. The morning wind sniffed the pages, and relished one too many stories. It went from corner to corner and relived all of them. Many, rain stricken decaying memories, some crippled like dry autumn leaves. The wind whistled through each of them, a chorus, a heart warming symphony. They sang of their times, of the romance they contained, crispy unsaid tragic tales.

Photo Credit:

 Candle light by Alesa Dam via Flickr Creative Commons. Some rights reserved.

Guest Author Bio

Haania Khan
I am a freelance writer. I write for fun. Most of my stories are based in a romantic setting and I like to believe that this is ‘my genre’. I am no English literature major so my writing may be less than conventional. I look forward to your feedback and thank you for reading.

Photo Credit

Photo by Melinda Cochrane – All Rights Reserved

You may think of moonlit walks on the beach, getting gifts of jewelry, receiving roses and candy, intimate dinners at exclusive restaurants, or making love while listening to sensual music. Of course, all of these affairs can be romantic, but romance should not just fall under the purview of grandiose, expensive, and elaborately staged gestures.

Romance should not be reserved just for special occasions either, like birthdays, Valentines Day, or anniversaries. On the contrary, romance should be cultivated and nurtured into the very fabric of our relationships . We can accomplish this by remembering simple, daily acts of appreciation and affection have a cumulative effect of deepening the bonds of intimacy.

The following three simple gestures can help pave a golden path to new depths of romance and passion in your relationship:

One

Let your partner know often how much you appreciate them. A dangerous pitfall afflicting many relationships is when couples begin taking each other for granted. However, no matter the major differences between men and women, there is one major similarity – we all have a visceral, human need to feel appreciated. The words “thank you” have a magical effect in re-igniting the embers of passion.

Two

Give your partner little tokens of affection. Hand write a little note which simply states “I love you.” Place it where your partner will find it sometime during their day. Discovering such a treasure hidden in a briefcase or jacket pocket is certain to have them thinking of you with a warm smile. Give them a heartfelt hug just because. Provide an impromptu back massage if they have had a particularly stressful day. All of these seemingly tiny tokens of affection quickly conspire to create an enduring atmosphere where romance and passion can thrive.

Three

Practice improving your listening skills. By becoming a better listener, you are relaying to your partner how important they are to you. It is also an excellent way to defuse conflict. So, the next time you ask your lover how their day was, make sure to be present with them, make eye contact, and give them your full attention. Feeling as though we are truly being heard, especially by those closest to us, validates us in a way very few other things can.

Being romantic doesn’t have to be a chore, requiring elaborate planning and expense. Instead, your simple expressions of affection and gratitude will suffuse your relationship with romance, intimacy, and passion.

Photo Credit

Photo is © Matthew Collingwood | Dreamstime.com

Guest Author Bio

Terez Williamson
Terez Williamson is an author and blogger who writes about the challenges of dating and creating vibrant relationships in the 21st century. You can find more of Terez’s musings on his blog, RegainYourRelationship.com.

Blog / Website: http://www.RegainYourRelationship.com

Follow Terez: Facebook | Twitter

For some folks, any relationship that doesn’t “last a lifetime” is a failure.

But actually, failure is simply a judgement we attach to what happened. In some ways, it doesn’t matter if you are with someone a few gorgeous weeks, or if you spend sixty years with them.

Instead of leaping to judgement, consider what you have learned. Consider how much joy came from your connection. How many amazing, unrepeatable experiences you had together.

A little over fours years ago, I dated a woman for about seven weeks. Among other things, I learned from her that I could move on. That I didn’t have to cling to the false hope of rekindling the long term relationship I had before meeting her. That I wasn’t doomed to being single. That the mistakes I made in the past were not being used as some kind of punishment by the cosmic dating gods.

The reality is that I didn’t figure out these lessons, or several others, until long after she was gone. I hadn’t yet developed the horse-sense to pay closer attention, and take what comes as an opportunity to learn and grow.

One week before she broke up with me, she told me she thought she loved me. “Thought” would turn out to be the key word in the sentence. She wanted to love me, but actually she loved someone else. Someone she’d been friends with for years. Someone with whom, I found out later, she would get married to less than six months after our relationship was done.

When she broke up with me, I was angry with her for “messing with my emotions.” In fact, that anger lingered for awhile, months probably if I’m honest. However, when I look back today, I realize that I was really angry at myself. For missing the clear signs of ambivalence she had displayed throughout our time together.

We had some great hikes together though. I remember in particular a moment where I was standing on top of a hill with my arms flung to a partly cloud sky. She looked up at me, laughed, and told me she always wanted to be able to fly.

Every relationship is impermanent, even the ones that last a “lifetime.” It’s how you live them, and then remember them, that really matters.

Photo Credit

Dolphins @ Flickr

In response to “I’m fat” comments, I have offered compliments. Or flat out rejections of the statement. Or sometimes have simply said “I love you as you are.”

No doubt it’s good to have a partner who isn’t harping on you about weight, but at the end of the day, you have to believe it internally.

At the same time, there are powerful social biases which make this internal self acceptance challenging. It’s easy to find pseudo-scientific articles in magazines and newspapers defending the status quo of attractiveness. Which tends to revolve around white bodies in general, and with women in particular, tends to revolve around being young and thin. In other words, there are cultural reasons why black women in general tend to struggle to get dates, for example, and why women with larger, curvier bodies tend to get rejected or tossed into the friend-zone. And it’s not just a heterosexual thing. These same pattern can be found, at least to some degree, amongst gay, lesbian, trans and queer relationships as well.

On the other two blogs I maintain, I have been writing a lot about the general disconnect so many of us have with the Earth. This disconnect manifests not only in how we humans treat the planet, but also in how we see and experience our bodies. Body hatred is intimately tied to both the oppression of women and rejection of Earth as the source of life, abundance, and creation.

And so, a larger woman might be able to find a partner who loves her for who she is, but if she hasn’t unpacked the internalized oppression around body image, she might do everything in her power – usually unconsciously – to undermine the relationship. On the flip side, if the partner has chosen her mostly for her personality, he or she might end up undermining the relationship with body shaming, or associated negative behaviors. Sometimes, it takes years for this kind of stuff to emerge. Couples can be seemingly happy together, only to wake up one day to an outburst of anger and confusion that slowly, or rapidly tears them apart.

While I fully believe that our desires shift and change over the years, and that sometimes we naturally drift away from partners, it’s also true in other cases that busted up relationships become that way primarily due to unexamined assumptions and views. Because we live in our bodies, and literally store unprocessed experience in our bodies – there’s no way around it. In order to have conscious, thriving relationships, you have to learn to love your body, and feel the flow of life coming through you. Learning to love includes everything from choosing to lose weight if necessary, to standing tall and proud as you are, today, regardless of what others might think. It also means learning to liberate your desires from the narrow confines of the “proper” or “expected,” while also balancing that with a deep commitment to non-harming.

Image Credit

“Fat Bottomed Girls Again” @ Flickr